The Struggle Of A Lifetime: “Log Kya Kahenge?”

Hi my friends,

I decided to start using my platform to address things I am passionate about and things I believe in that I truly live by and share them with y’all. You all loved my previous post on how I learned to be happy so much, so I thought I’d share this with you guys too. The lifelong problem of struggling with the constant reminder of, "what are people going to say?" or the infamous, "log kya kahenge?" (get a snack, this is a long one).

Over the years I have always been told by my elders, "what are people going to say?" when I wanted to do anything out of the norm. Whether that’s the way I dress, something I want to try, or even something as little as attending an event that wasn’t in compliance with society’s one track mind. This not only boils my blood, but it makes no sense.

Why should we live our life for people we don’t even know? People who don’t know us? People who only see us once in a few months? Or people who have no relation, no significance in your life other than the fact that you have 1 or 2 things in common or mutual friends in common. Why is it that we base our entire life, our actions, our careers, our interests, our hobbies, our marriages, and even our relationships based on what PEOPLE will think about you? Who are those people to you?

This isn’t a recent discovery for me, I’ve always wondered why we didn’t have the free will to choose how we want to live our lives. Many people argue it’s religion. But I argue that religion is your own belief, it’s a way of YOUR own life. No one can tell you how to live or what to believe. Many argue that it’s being part of a community. Why would you want to be a part of a community that’s all about doing things to please others and not be genuine? Be a part of a community that brings you down and puts you down, wants to control you? Many argue that it’s part of being in a society, like the elitist society for example. Why would you want to do certain things to be a part of a elitist society when those things don’t make you happy and you don’t feel fulfilled?

You live ONE life. There is only ONE chance at this and because of people and society and communities that are always going to talk shit about one thing or the other, you’re going to live in a way you don’t want to? A way that leaves you bitter and jealous of those who CAN live their lives the way they want? Have you wishing you could do certain things and live a certain way when you can, but you are just scared of people who are literally meaningless in your life? & If this is what you want, this does give you fulfillment and you find yourself happy living this way, you do you. I have nothing against people who WANT to live that way, all the power to you. But for those of you who have struggled with this "what are people going to say" bullshit like I have my whole life, you can put an end to that.

Picture c/o ThePakistaniMarthaStewart

I did.

I don’t let people tell me how to live anymore. I don’t care about what people in a community, or what society, or what my distant relatives or my acquaintances think of me. My purpose in life is to live my best life, be the best person I can be, do the right things and be a better person each day I spend on this earth. I want to live a life of fulfillment and happiness, surround myself with people who are going to bring me up and people who I know will look up to me for the things I do and the way I live my life.

People who will judge me based on how far I’ve come in my career, what I’ve accomplished thus far, how I want to move forward and the life I want to build for myself and my future husband and kids. I want people, society, to accept how I am, and love me for who I am, and I will only get that by demanding it. In no world does that mean you rebel and get your way, it means you constantly remind yourself and those around you that you are not phased by the judgements of those who live a totally different life than you. Those who keep an eye on you who wait for you to mess up so they can call you out, those who mean nothing more than a stature they’ve received through wealth, not by doing any good in this world. Those people are the weakest kind, the kind that have nothing better to do than shit talk and judge you. & I’m not even referring to adolescents or teens, even adults can be this petty.

I know for a fact that since I’ve made this change in my life, since I’ve vowed not to let anyone or anything bring me down or get to me, since I started living for ME, I’ve been so much happier & I feel so much more respected. If only the older generation would understand the importance of living life for you, it would make all of our lives easier. I know I didn’t wait for that to happen, and neither should you. Again, in no way is this meant to make you rebel, or make you do things you shouldn’t do in any way, shape, or form. But to simply assure you that you’re not alone in this struggle, I struggled my whole life and only recently did I make the change to live for myself. As long as you’re a good person, with good intention, nothing will stand in your way of achieving happiness.

Parents love you. They will be happy if they see you are happy (I hope), and your friends will always stand by your side. Your smile will radiate and you’ll feel SO good on the inside. & those who judge you will keep judging you, those who want to make your life hell will keep trying. Just don’t let it get to you. You do you. You be happy. You live for you.

-F

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